Rejection

I was looking for something satirical to send to employers once you already have a job and found the following posted in enough places on the web that its origin is unclear:

Dear [Interviewer's Name]:

Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview]. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have had been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite [Firm's Name]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]

Government Officials Get Implants

 
Mexican Attorney General Gets Security Microchip Implant in Arm

July 12 (Bloomberg) -- Mexico's Attorney General Rafael Macedo de la Concha said he had a non-removable microchip implanted in his arm as a security measure to track him throughout Mexico and to give him access to a crime data bank.

Other high-ranking law enforcement officials who have access to the databank will also receive the chip implants, Macedo said in a transcript of an informal interview he gave to journalists in Mexico City provided by the attorney general's office.

``The system is already in place and I already have it,'' he said. ``It's only for access, for security and so that I can also be located at any moment anywhere I am.''

The $26 million data bank was created to link information on criminals and records of outstanding arrest warrants among the attorney generals branch offices in all 31 states and the federal district.

The chip can't be removed, but will be deactivated after Macedo's term as attorney general expires, he said.

About 160 Mexican officials will carry the microchip, according to the Mexico City daily El Universal.